Ed, Edd n' Eddy 2470 Episode I: Saiyan Awakening
by JM-Dude
Summary: ...Almost 500 years have passed since Goku destroyed Omega Shenron. Now, with so many years of peace, the Saiyan race now lies dormant within the people of Earth, spread over so many generations. And now with a sudden, evil awakening, can the now dearly d
1. The Sleeper, Awakened

A man was sitting in a chair, bound with handcuffs. He was thirty-two, but due to a newly discovered and rare form of dwarfism, he appeared to be the age of sixteen. He had dark blond hair, about an inch long. He had piercing steel blue eyes. He was Caucasian, almost tan less. A stout man with glasses, and light brown hair was talking to him.

Man: "Alright Max, tell me, again why this happened. And this time, no screwing around! Tell me the truth!"

Max Payne: "What is it that you want to hear? That I'm psychotic, that I'm on a vendetta against the economy? I gave you my truth, and I have nothing else to say."

Indeed, Payne had explained this to the deputy chief several times in the past hour.

Man: "Your story is worthy of a genius criminal and it doesn't surprise me. I checked your records at the NYPD academy. Nearly perfect marks in every area. It's very unlucky, I suppose, that every witness capable of backing up your words has been killed. What a coincidence that the people of this so called Inner Circle have all been murdered, and that your man Alfred Woden was taken out in a drive by shooting shortly after your arrest."

The man said this sarcastically.

Max Payne: "There's plenty of evidence that Nicole Horne was guilty. Hack her P.C. and you should find a deluge of evidence."

Man: The Aisre building was searched top to bottom, and the computer you are talking about was scrapped when the radio mast fell off the building.

Max Payne: "Then dig up what's left of Cold Steel refinery. There's a Valkyr factory in the lower levels of that plant."

Valkyr was a hallucinogenic drug that has been newly manufactured and so far only found in New York County.

Man: "We sent in a team to investigate that factory, nothing is left of the place. You know what I find intriguing? Why you didn't just go to the police station about your partners murder. It's pretty suspicious that someone would run from the people they work for."

Max Payne: "Granted, but it's not exactly easy to talk it over with someone who has a Colt Commando stuck up your #$. Give me some time and I'll come up with more evidence."

Man: "You're not leaving this building! Wanna know what my evidence is!"

The man pulls out a stack of photographs, all with dead men on the ground.

Man: "TWO DEAD OFFICERS, A WRECKED CHOPPER, AND ENOUGH CADAVERS TO FILL THREE GRAVEYARDS! You try laying this bull# story on me, and what I think is really sick, is how you brought your family into this."

(I Do NOT own Ed, Edd n' Eddy, or Dragonball Z, or Max Payne)

Max began to feel a white-hot surge of anger.

Max Payne: "Shut up…"

Man: "They'd turn in their graves if they heard about how you used them as an alibi for your motivation in all this! SIT DOWN PAYNE!"

Max had risen from his chair. The guard cocked his gun. His expression was in the utmost fury, he felt violated, he felt murderous, and he hungered for vengeance. Terrible memories, like a flaring slideshow before his eyes went by. Bald men, intoxicated, insane and wielding handguns; an overturned crib. A door in a restroom that would not open, while a woman screamed in terror for help.

Man: "I said sit your #$ down!"

Guard: "Don't make me do it!"

However, Max couldn't hear them; he was consumed by his own emotions. Lightning cracked outside. The proximity of the bolts to the building was dangerously close. Max began to growl and grunt in fury. His silent anger shook the room. Then, a surge of electricity crackled and hissed around his very body, but it didn't seem to be hurting him. He flung his arms to both sides of his torso. With a mighty clang, his cuffs shattered, his elbows went down, and he curled his hands into fists, as if straining to free something from his body that had hidden inside him for so long. His eyes turned turquoise, like a blind mans eyes. And suddenly, his hair flickered. It had changed color for a second, to a golden yellow. His hair flickered on and off like this for five seconds.

Max Payne: "Grr! HEGH! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUUUUUULNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Max began to yell, but this wasn't in pain, but fury. And then his hair stopped flashing. His hair had grown to nearly a foot long, and spiked upward. A fire like yellow aura had grown around his body.

Man: "What are you? Some beast, a demon from Hell? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Shoot, shoot to kill!"

The guard began firing wildly at Max, but before the deluge of bullets came within a foot of him, he had disappeared. He reappeared behind the guard, who saw him, and fired again. This time the bullets hit him, but instead of penetrating his skin, they stopped on him as if they had hit a brick wall. Max surged his aura again, and the ruined bullets melted, and lay in a lead puddle on the floor. Max squinted his eyes and stared at the gun. The weapon burst into shrapnel. Max looked up at the ceiling and jumped. He went straight through the roof of the building, and hung in midair. He could fly. Then he pointed an opened hand at the building below him. A ball of yellow energy formed in his palm. He released it, and it flew like a missile at the building. The ball destroyed everything but the outer walls of the building, and exploded when it hit the ground. The walls flew outward in a gigantic explosion, and the twisted steel littered the streets below. It seemed that his hidden power erupted with an insane, uncontrollable evil that was not in his personality. The few people who had emerged from their homes after the snowstorm had subsided fled through the streets. One man stopped and looked at Max after he landed, curiously inspecting him.

Citizen: "Um, sir? I think you should see a doctor. It aint natural for someone to be all glowing all yeller'. Do you work at a nuclear plant?"

Max grabbed the man's arm and as he screamed in fear, was thrown like a Frisbee at awesome speed through a semi-truck's cargo container and straight into the Chrysler Building. The building began to crack free of it's supports and fell forward, smashing into oblivion while it's needle-like spire speared a second building and crushed the colliding side. Max once again moved in a flash to the center of the city. And with a sadistic grin on his face, he bellowed again, and a white pulse of energy flew from his entire body, and engulfed the entire city, laughing maniacally as his pulse of destruction worked its horrors... 


	2. Ending with a Crash

It is the year 2470. Unlike the predictions of every hopeful person on Earth, technology has not changed much since 2000. Max Payne's destruction has so far gone unheard of. Some believed a large power failure had disrupted contact with the East coast, and nobody had heard anything from people who attempted to investigate the area. Really, Payne had destroyed every city he had met. Nobody had the time to radio a distress signal, let alone do anything before the white-hot energy was upon them, destroying their towns without warning. Max Payne was heading for the nearest energy source he could sense.

It was winter and the modest, picturesque Cul-de-sac of a town called Peach Creek was currently iced with snow, as if all the suburb was was a town made of gingerbread, though from one glance, it was certain that these homes were not cookie-based in the least.

Three residents of this region were Ed, Edd and Eddy; three boys in their early teenage years who attempted to carve their niche in their society, known as the "Eds" to most. And they were, (though a fair few hated to admit this) the most infamous people in the Cul-de-sac. No three people had stuck together as well as these three misfits. Of course, they were only known as misfits for their frequent get-rich-quick schemes, from which they had lost much credibility and had gained many enemies.

The Eds themselves could be called funny for how they look and worked. Ed was yellow-skinned, about five-foot-nine and had the intelligence quotient of a bag of hammers. He was also the strong one among the group, so he did most, if not all of their grunt work. Though he looked as though he could make quite the bully, he was innocent and friendly and was very accustomed to being told what to do, though sometimes he forgot what it was he was doing. He was also quite the slave to comics, sci-fi and B movie horror films. He was also neglecting of, if not against all form of personal hygiene.

This fact was known all too well by Edd, or "Double D" as he was better called. Edd was about three inches shorter than Ed, had the weak and high-pitched voice of a male secretary as well as a Harvard standard intellect. He also wore a black stocking-cap, or as most called it, a "beanie" over his head, for reasons only he and his friends knew. Of course, being the opposite end of the intelligence spectrum from Ed, he was, to be expected, physically weak enough to be bossed around just as much as Ed, though he often didn't do so as willingly. After all, being a conscience-motivated fellow driven by his own integrity, it was most of the time hard to push him into participating in one of Eddy's lack-luster schemes. Of course, Eddy had his wiles (though not many), as he knew his scams would never get of the ground without his inventor/planner holding the fort together.

Eddy was the shortest of the group. And by short, he is almost six inches shorter than Edd. But he was about average strength and could easily force Edd to do his bidding. It was from Eddy that their friendship had been forged. Eddy was money-mad and power-hungry. Of course, knowing his own limits (though from his narcissism he rarely pointed it out) he had recruited Edd and Ed. Among them, he was of average intelligence, with little common sense but had amazing skills in persuasion. He was the one among the group who was sly and underhanded. So many of his money-making schemes matched that mind-set. Edd often resisted because of this, especially if Eddy's scam of topic was (likely) harebrained and totally out-of-the-question. But despite all odds, here they were, friends for as long as they could remember.

The Ed's our will-be heroes, were engineering their latest scam, money exchange. They had put up a cardboard coin star machine, which the Eds "manually" worked. Sarah and Jimmy spotted the machine, and moved curiously toward it.

Sarah was Ed's sister, a young girl with long red hair who had (ever since she could scream with her unnaturally deep and croaky voice) always ruled over her older brother. Her anger was easily sparked, especially by Eddy, who she detested. And just like Ed, she had incredible strength for her age; for anyone really. Thus, she WAS a bully, able to domineer her older, terrified sibling and keep herself at the top of the family pack.

Sarah: "Who'd leave an ATM in the middle of the street?"

Jimmy: "That's no ATM Sarah, that's a coin star! See, put in your loose change, and out come crisp, portable dollar bills!"

Jimmy was Sarah's best and only true friend. Everyone else was too afraid of her, and she rarely socialized beyond those of her age anyway. If Edd was weak, then Jimmy was a paper mannequin. There had actually been one occasion when a falling clothes peg had nearly broken his foot. He was as white as milk with matching hair, which was so poofy that he could be mistaken for female. Of course, there were other reasons for such a misconception as well. Jimmy hated all things masculine, and Sarah was the only one who understood that. Despite everything, Jimmy was the one Sarah was kindest to. Sarah was kind of Jimmy's only line of defense, though it was very good.

Jimmy demonstrated the "machine" and put in four quarters. A buzzing sound came up that sounded suspiciously like Ed doing the sound effect. A dollar bill (with Ed's face printed on it) popped out of the slot. Sarah noticed the ink-Ed's face on the bill, and casually extracted the Eds through the slot. She had them all by the chest with only one of her fists. Their faces were red from Sarah's grasp. Sarah tied them in a knot around a light pole, and walked off with Jimmy.

Edd: "That was predictable."

Eddy: "When'll we ever get a break?"

Edd: "If we survive until the next summer vacation, I'll count that as a break."

Ed: "My knees hurt Eddy."

Just then, a looming shadow covered Peach Creek, and in the background a black comet-like projectile slowly moved toward the commercial area of Peach Creek. This projectile blacked out the sun because of its size.

Edd: "A solar eclipse?"

Ed: "BRING ON THE SALSA!"

Eddy: "Shut up Ed."

There was a blinding white light, and for the citizens of Peach Creek, all went black. 


	3. Welcome to the Afterlife

The Ed's woke up to find themselves on a strange floating platform in front of a long winding path with a Snake's Head surrounded by a lower layer of yellow-orange clouds. They were in a line with many other people.

Edd: "What an obscure dream."

Eddy: "Oh, my aching head!"

Ed: "Yep, that looks serious Eddy! Glowing rings floating spectrally over your noggin is a sure-fire sign of a case of the mozzarella virus from the napkin men."

Eddy: "Glowing ring? Hey, look who's talking!"

Edd looked confusedly at these rings, and suddenly a terrified look of understanding wiped over Double D's face.

Edd: "EDDY! I have a feeling that we have somehow met an early demise! Dear me. Eddy, here? Well then, it seems that heaven is easier to get into than the State of Arizona."

Large Man: "Heh-hem!"

A large red man in a giant desk stared down at them. Edd's eyes widened in intimidation.

Edd: "Pardon me sir but, who might you be?"

Large Man: "I'm King Yemmah. I'm the one in charge of populating new souls here. State your names. Please hurry up, I'm having a rough time, Earth is having some serious casualties."

Edd: "My name is Edd, but with two D's, and these are my friends Ed, and Eddy."

Suddenly, King Yemmah stood up, and this was something given his immense stature.

King Yemmah: "Wait, not the ones that the Supreme Kai Kibitoshin has been searching for! Pardon my saying so, but you seem a bit young to be the saviors he was talking about."

Eddy: "Saviors?"

King Yamma: "Don't perplex yourselves about it! The Supreme Kai has been awaiting your arrival in the next room. Go there, and don't keep him waiting. He's an extraordinarily important person, and having business with the likes of individuals such as yourselves is astoundingly rare."

The Ed's opened the oversized door to the following room. A man with purple skin, long white hair, and pointed ears was there. They shared a sigh of relief as they realized the calm demeanor of the man.

Kibitoshin: "So, you have come. I would have come to visit you myself, but I heard of the destruction of your hometown, and that you three were among the fatalities. Therefore, I waited for you here. I'm sorry for the abruptness of all this, but I'll explain everything later after we travel to my planet."

Eddy: "Destruction, PLANET…THEREFORE?"

Edd: "Pardon my asking but, wouldn't traveling to another planet consume years of time?"

Kibitoshin: "Not in the way we'll be traveling. Just hold on to me and we'll make the jump."

Ed: "Cool! Are we visiting the globe of mole-people, and having the ligaments removed from our ankles!"

Kibitoshin: "Beg pardon?"

Edd: "Please excuse Ed's anomalous conduct. He is unfortunately a rather adept fan and victim of fictional television programming."

Kibitoshin: "Um, okay. Right. Ahem. Just relax, this will feel a little strange."

And with a zip, they traveled faster than light to the sacred planet of the Kai's. 


	4. Realization

ZAPP!

They arrived on the sacred planet, still scarred from a battle that went on there.

Eds: "Ah!"

Ed: "Cool!"

Kibitoshin: "Well, now that we're here, let me explain why your even here in the first place."

Eddy: "Go on will ya', I want to get on with my life."

Kibitoshin: "The reason I've brought you here is because of a new threat in the Universe. Max Payne. Max Payne was a police officer for the Earthling city you call New York. Somehow, he's gone horridly mad. He developed a power that has been forgotten because of the great span of peace. The truth is that he is a Saiyan, who resided on Earth, but whose species came from another world, where they were a feared warrior race that after near extinction became the most powerful beings known in the Universe, a descendant of the warriors Vegeta and Goku. His lineage is uncertain, but we know that he has become a Super Saiyan, a transformation of these beings that increases their staggering power to unimaginable levels. No living warrior in the Universe is as strong as him now. Though he would have been considered weak many years ago, the Universal neglect of the arts in energy have caused a large weakness. Other than Payne, there are only three other Saiyans that we are aware of. You.

Eddy: "Whoa, what a brain job."

Edd: "I'm afraid that's just not possible. We can't be uh, 'Saiya-jins', or whatever the term is."

Kibitoshin: "But you are. And it is my duty to help you train to become strong enough to vanquish Max Payne, and bring back peace. You must awaken your super saiyan powers, and head back to Earth."

Edd: "My own pacifism aside, there is still a problem sir, we can't go back to Earth, we're among the deceased."

Kibitoshin: "Don't worry; the guardian of Earth, Dende, is bringing the legendary Dragonballs together to wish for Max Payne's damage to be undone. The second wish will be saved for later.

Eddy: "Dragon…balls?"

Kibitoshin: "The Dragonballs are seven mystical gems that when brought together, will summon the Eternal Dragon Shenron. The dragon will then grant two wishes to the summoner. Although I wish it wasn't necessary to abuse their powers, lest we have another episode of Shadow Dragons."

Eddy: "Man, eternal dragons, guardians, people from other planets and Super Saiyans? It's like we've walked inside your brain Ed.

Ed, his head hurting from overloaded information rubbed it woefully.

Ed: "And I can feel the footsteps too. Ouch…"

Kibitoshin: "Before you are able to train hard enough to reach any significant strength, my elder must perform a special ritual to awaken your hidden powers. It will take about 48 hours. Trying to gain your strength the old fashion way would take years of time and training."

Edd: "Elder?"

Ed: "Where?"

An older version of Kibitoshin walked up from behind them.

Old Kai: "That would be me. Hmm? These are the best you could find?"

Kibitoshin: "A Saiyan is best matched by another saiyan, but in this case we have three."

Old Kai: "Well, I've worked miracles before."

Eddy: "Hey Double D, check out the geriatric trying to put us down! How's that for irony!"

Edd: "Irony Eddy? I see improvement in your language skills."

Old Kai: "Arrogant as ever. Those Saiyans are exactly what I expected. Except for that tall one with the idiot's grin on his mug. Either he's the strong silent type, or he keeps spare change in his head."

Kibitoshin: "Please elder, these three probably hold the fate of the Universe on their shoulders! The least we can do is act towards them with propriety."

Old Kai: "Alright, alright. Pardon me if I still hold a grudge to that smug race."

Kibitoshin: "Goku and Vegeta DID defeat the Shadow Shenrons though. I don't see how you can be angry at them after that."

Old Kai: "Oh, then I suppose you don't remember that they fought strongly, but irrationally. They made almost every mistake in the book! It was merely a lot of luck that let them scrape through that conflict!"

Kibitoshin: "With all due respect, I think we should put our opinions to the side and begin training. Every minute we waste is another handful of lives eradicated."

Old Kai: "Fine by me. Now please, stand up straight, very still, and don't move too rapidly or you'll spoil the ritual. Good. Here we go."

Then, the Elder Kai began to circle them with a seemingly insane dance.

Old Kai: "Wake up you…sleeping powers…"

Ed: "I saw this movie."

Eddy: "What's with this? I thought he was gonna train us, not lull us to sleep!"

Edd: "Please be patient Eddy, I'm sure there is some method to this lunacy."

Ed: "I've got moss in between my toes." 


	5. Grabbing a Bite to Eat

While the so-called training continued, the Earth was finally aware of the mad Max Payne. After destroying a large city, a nearby town got a front row seat to the chaos, and an officer quickly phoned in to the military. After receiving visual confirmation, the U.S. began to form a perimeter around the area that hadn't been attacked. They believed that this was a new form of terrorism, and that the man who caused the destruction, was equipped with a bulletproof vest, a jetpack, and a launching mechanism for miniature nuclear warheads. In every city, people worked together to create fallout shelters in the case of another attack. The military's plan to reinforce the borders of every city in the nation was aptly dubbed "Operation Jericho". Payne's next target was Chicago.

Commander: "Lieutenant, what's the status on the ML?"

Lieutenant: "I checked a minute ago sir, they're having trouble getting the laser targeting system to focus on small objects, sir."

Commander: "Well tell them to double their efforts #$ you! We're not running a carnival, we've got no time for screw ups!"

A guard ran down from a tower.

Guard: "Commander! Airborne human unit coming from sector 3.7! And moving fast!"

Commander: "That's him! Raise the alarm!"

A wailing siren blared throughout the city.

P.A.: "All civilians please make your way to the nearest fallout shelter. This is not a drill. Do not panic. All military personnel proceed to the Eastern side of the city immediately! Enemy has been spotted on the Eastern side of the city."

While the citizens fled for their lives, the military were busy preparing for battle.

Commander: "What's the problem! Fire the ML!"

Missile control: "Target is too small! We can't get a lock!"

Guard: "Sir, the target is moving past point blank range! And still coming!"

Commander: "At any closer than that, a nuke of any size would destroy the prey as well as the predator. Aim all artillery at the target, we may have a kamikaze! God help us."

Max Payne landed just behind the armada. He pointed his hand to fire a beam of energy at them, but a large churning sound made him stop and clutch his stomach. A soldier raised his M16.

Soldier: "Freeze! Stay where you are!"

Max turned around, but just looked annoyed.

Max Payne: "I'm hungry. I'll kill you all later, first I need lunch."

He continued to walk straight into a fast food restaurant called "Burgeropolis", closely followed by several-stunned silent, soldiers. He noticed the locked door with a steel frame, and a one-piece glass body, and busted through the glass. Then he put his hand through, and unlocked the door. Then he opened the door from the outside, but opened it so hard that it flew off its hinges and landed in the now ruined windshield of a car. The soldiers looked dumbstruck at the results. Max continued to walk into the restaurant and unwrapped a double cheeseburger. He took a bite, but quickly spit it out. It seemed to have gone cold. He held it in his hand, and with the other, he charged some energy, and in a split second, the burger was steaming. Then, out of nowhere, a soldier with a bazooka fired his weapon straight at Max. Taken by surprise, it hit him dead in the face. There were a couple of handshakes, and high fives, until the dust settled revealing a burger less, dust covered, and very angry Max Payne.

Max Payne: "If you wanted to die, you should have made an appointment."

Max Payne raised his hand toward them… 


	6. Training: Introduction to Power

Back on the sacred planet, 12 hours had passed. The Elder Kai was still doing his incongruous ritual. The Ed's were still standing, but a heavy fatigue had made them all incredibly weak. Suddenly, the elder Kai stopped.

Old Kai: "Okay, it's finished."

The Ed's all fell flat on their faces.

Ed: "My calves hurt."

Old Kai: "Now for the second part."

Eddy: "SECOND PART? We stood still for a million hours, and you're telling me there's MORE?"

Ed: "A lot more! Order in the next fifteen minutes and you will be eliginable for this special offer bonus pretzel folding kit, yours free! In now while supplies last!"

Old Kai: "Silence mutton-brain, and hold your horses you overgrown fire spout! That was merely the awakening of your hidden powers. Now, you must focus that energy until it has become voluntary. Please sit down and concentrate on that power."

Edd: "I don't mean to seem uninformed, but how do you suggest we do that. I'm not sure if you have noticed, but we haven't a clue to this energy business."

Old Kai: "You know when you feel so charged that you can run 50 feet more than you can normally? Well take that charge and focus it, become so aware of it that you could hold it in your hand. Now let's continue."

Old Kai sat down in front of them and outstretched his arms. This went on for another sleep depriving 36 hours, then the elder retracted his arms, and the Eds looked forward in anticipation.

Eddy: "Is it finished yet?"

Old Kai: "Yes, I believe it is done. The only way for you to really be certain is by challenging each other in combat."

Eddy: "Too easy!"

Edd: "I'm afraid I must protest to this form of aggression! I abhor violence, and I refuse to harm, let alone take the life of anyone."

Kibitoshin: "I would respect your wish if it weren't for the reality that Max Payne may be the doom of the Universe. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to swallow your pride. There isn't any other way for you to win. I have seen evil of his kind before, and they're not to be reasoned with. He's too proud and senseless to feel any remorse guilt or pity for his victims."

Edd: "Uh, I suppose if it IS for the greater good, that I am obligated to do my part. Very well. Shall we begin?"

Eddy: "Okay Double D, I'll give you a free shot. Right here, don't worry I wont feel a thing! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Double D charged at Eddy, but he went so fast, that without knowing it, he disappeared, and reappeared in front of Eddy, and hit him in the jaw. Taken by surprise, Eddy careened like a missile straight into a rock cliff, shattering it to rubble.

Edd: "Dear me, our strength HAS increased to an astonishing level! I mean this is an absolute coup, a-"

But before Edd could continue his eruption of diction, Eddy picked up a stalactite, and whacked Double D into the air.

Eddy: "PLAY BALL!"

Edd stopped himself in midair, not even realizing that he was floating.

Edd: "Oh, that's how it's going to be is it? How about this!"

Double D shot through the air and head butted Eddy's noggin. Both of them fell to the floor, holding their heads in pain.

Edd: "WHAT THE HECK'S YOUR HEAD MADE OF! CAST IRON!"

Edd: "That was not well conceived! I'm sorry if I-"

Eddy: "You're gonna' get it now!"

Eddy chased after Edd, both running at inhuman speeds. Edd rounded on Eddy as he attempted to steam-roll Edd who put his hands up in defense, inadvertently firing a blast of energy into Eddy, who fell on his feet and rolled past Edd like a derailed train.

Edd: "Did that come out of me…? What a strange phenomenon! Pure energy manifested into its raw form?"

While Edd generated and examined a steadily pulsing energy ball in his palm, Eddy came at him with a similar attack, Edd recovering and both went at it furiously. Where the Kai's were watching the training, Ed hadn't moved.

Kibitoshin: "They certainly were the right ones for the job. Their skill is increasing with every attack! They're learning how to fight while they're fighting!"

Old Kai: "Wait a second, where's the one with a tangerine for a brain? Hey, 'Lord of the Paper-Weights', get in there and train! HEEEEEEEE!"

Both Kai's looked up at the area above Ed. A massive collection of large energy balls were hovering just above Ed.

Ed: "SUPER MACHINE GUN BLAST! YAHH!"

Ed sent all of the balls towards Eddy and Double D. Oblivious to what was happening, Eddy, and Edd both charged energy beams at each other that met and exploded in midair.

Eddy: "Tough guy huh?"

Edd: "Haven't even broken a sweat Eddy! Oh dear, sweat marks leave unsightly stains. I'd better remove this shirt."

Eddy: "Good thinking sock-head! I was feeling a bit hot myself."

Edd: "Fatigue Eddy?"

Eddy: "Nope, but I'm on fire right now baybee!"

Just then, a large energy ball whizzed past Eddy's face.

Eddy: "What the?"

More and more energy balls flew at them, but all missed.

Ed: "Prepare to meet your maker!"

Eddy: "Hey, nice shooting dead-eye! You missed worst than a blind man! What're you still standing there fo-?"

Edd: "Um, Eddy?"

Eddy: "What!"

Edd: "BLOCKADE!"

The balls of energy hadn't hit their mark, but they had all stopped, forming an army of waiting balls all around them. Eddy looked up in fear, finally putting his hands up in defense.

Eddy: "Not the face!"

Ed: "HAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Ed slapped his hands together like cymbals, and the balls flew inward and hit their targets. A furious explosion rang out.

Kibitoshin: "Great galaxy!"

After the dust cleared, Edd and Eddy appeared cut bruised, and worn out. They slowly floated to the ground, and landed.

Edd: "I think that's enough training for one day."

Edd fell to the floor.

Eddy: "Hold the elevator Double D."

Eddy followed Edd's example. 


	7. Training: Upgrade to Super Saiyan

The next day, the Ed's were awoken by the elder Kai.

Old Kai: "Wake up you lazy Saiyans! This is no time to sleep in!"

Edd: "Sleep in? It's not even 4:00."

Eddy sat up; eyes still closed, and began walking as if he was in his house, turning on corners. Eddy opened his eyes and glanced at everyone he passed. He stopped by the Supreme Kai and elder Kai.

Eddy: "Hey granddad. Stop for a visit? Hey, I thought you saw a plastic surgeon for that face?"

Old Kai: "I BEG YOUR PARDON!"

Eddy: "Hi Mom, what's for breakfast?"

Kibitoshin: "Um, we don't often get food here."

Eddy continued to walk straight off a cliff.

Eddy: "I'll just skip it then. I'm going out with the guys, see ya. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

As soon as he walked off the edge, he opened and closed an invisible door, and fell into a large pond.

Old Kai: "Did I perhaps mention that Saiyans aren't the smartest bunch either?"

They walked around to the pond that Eddy had fallen into. Eddy was upside down with his face stuck in the mud. Ed pulled him up effortlessly. Eddy had a bemused, vacant look on his face.

Ed: "Ooh, ooh! I've seen this before Double D!"

Edd: "Yes you have Ed, he's passed out."

Ed: "Then I will pass him in! Go long Double D!"

Ed flew into the air and tossed Eddy at the ground. Edd ran around in frantic circles trying to catch Eddy.

Edd: "That's not quite what I meant Ed! Oh dear, oh dear!"

Just then the elder Kai lost patients and yelled at the top of his lungs.

Old Kai: "ARE WE FINISHED HERE! YOU SAIYANS NEVER TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY! IF I HADN'T INTERVENED, YOU'D BE AT THIS FOR HOURS ON END!"

Edd and Ed stopped in their tracks. Eddy, (still unconscious) fell to the floor and made a 5 foot wide crater where he landed.

Edd: "Heavens!"

Ed: "Nice lungs there comrade!"

Eddy: "What happened?"

Eddy had awoken from his forty winks.

Old Kai: "Now if you're all through fooling around, it's time for us to explain the provisions to crush Max Payne."

Kibitoshin: "Do you remember me telling you that Payne has gained the ability of Super Saiyan? Well, Payne has much more skill in fighting than you do, not to mention his devastating level of power. Therefore, it is vital that you too become Super Saiyans so that he doesn't have a chance. But even with extraordinary power, there is always a great threat to your efforts. I've seen people facing adversaries nearly ten times stronger than themselves and come out victorious. Usually it is cunning and not brute strength that will win the day. The warrior Goku, an ancestor of yours, fought the monster Omega Shenron on Earth. He was several times stronger than Goku, and he was as clever as they come. Goku didn't beat him by weakening him and blasting him to oblivion with one last punch. He had to call on the power of his spirit bomb technique to defeat Omega Shenron, even when he was at full strength. Even when someone is weakened to the point of death, they are capable of turning the tables in their favor. Max Payne is a maniac, but he is also very clever. Showing him mercy will only be giving him time to think of a plan that could end it all. Payne will not hesitate to destroy the entire planet in one blast if he feels that you are too strong for him. This is a common trump card. He would know that he couldn't win, so he would rather keep his pride and make sure that if he can't win, neither will anyone else.

The Kibitoshin's speech had ended, and the Ed's had hung on to his words.

Kibitoshin: "Now, to wake up the power of Super Saiyan, you must train to extreme extents, to the point that you're emotions confuse and disturb you. That is the path I know, but it is up to you to actually perform the task. I have thought of a decent training exercise that just might do the trick. Do you see that moon up there? The blue one at the very top?"

Everyone looked up at a sky blue moon hovering among the other small moons orbiting the planet.

Kibitoshin: "That moon is very special. We use it to train only the most necessary of warriors. It is made entirely of tonnine, the heaviest substance in the known Universe. The planet is only the size of a large house, but its gravity could flatten diamonds in a matter of minutes. You must go there and resist the planets gravity. I warn you, you will not be capable of escape until you reach the level of Super Saiyan. Until then, you will be trapped. At your strength, you would never be able to come back. If you are ready to begin, then fly up to the planet and land there. Try everything you can to escape. Because you do not need food or water, you can stay as long as necessary to complete your training. Remember that blasting the planet will not do you any good. The planets weight will cause it to reform after it has exploded, and you will not have time to escape before its whole again."

Old Kai: "I think they get the picture. Now get up there and don't pull a muscle. That'll ruin everything."

Ed: "I am a flying Gila monster from Vega seven!"

Ed flew straight at the planet. Edd and Eddy followed.

Edd: "Ed wait, for us!"

Old Kai: "Are you sure these are the best you could find? Don't seem too bright to me."

Kibitoshin: "There's no time left. There are plenty of above normal humans we could use, but not one can stand toe to toe with a Super Saiyan, even with decades of training. They're our last hope."

As soon as Ed got within 300 yards of the planet, he began to nosedive at mach 4.

Ed: "Ha heh ha!"

The others couldn't stop before they were pulled in too.

Edd: "OH MY!"

Eddy: "WHAT THE!"

All three of them hit the planet so hard that it dented, but it reformed into a perfect sphere as if it were made of impenetrable Jell-O.

Edd: "WAHAHEE!"

Ed: "YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Eddy: "(dazed, and absent minded) Hey Double D, my life's flashing before my eyes and I can't change the channel. Can you find the remote?"

Edd: "(Straining) The gravity of this moon must be equivalent to our entire solar system combined!"

Ed: "I can't feel my legs Double D."

Eddy: "How the heck are we gonna move!"

Edd: "We'll just take it one step at a time, let's try getting up."

The Ed's worked on standing for three long hours, and at last stood firmly on the hard earth. Then they begin trying to jump, continually falling.

Eddy: "It's hopeless! We're never getting outta here!"

Edd: "Let's try energy, we may not destroy the planet, but we might be able to ride the beams out of the gravity field."

They all fired their beams at full strength at the moon. The beams all put holes in the planetoid, like the holes in Swiss cheese. They all flew upward ten feet, and remained at a standstill on their beams. Then the planet reformed again, and they all fell like lead weights to the floor.

Eddy: "Any more bright ideas Rembrandt?"

Edd: "If we continue on this way, we might gain the strength to escape. Be patient Eddy this can work."

The Ed's persisted at this process without relent. For hours they continue, leaving scars and bruises all over their bodies. They tired and worn, but they don't stop. Another day passed.

The Ed's all began thinking of their homes, friends (though not many), family, and the fair town of Peach Creek, blasted to oblivion in their minds. But they felt like avenging them all was just out of their reach, taunting them like a heavily desired object on a string held by a man older than them, but younger than a high school senior.

Edd: "All those people, harmless citizens that he has slain!"

Eddy: "That guy blew up banks, with money, and he didn't even take it! HE BLEW IT UP!"

Ed: "MY MONSTER TV STATION BLEW TO SMITHEREENS HE DID!"

Electricity flowed through the air, and the Ed's angry and focused began to stare purposely at the floor, arms at their sides. The Kai's on the sacred planet looked with eagerness.

Old Kai: "What are they doing? Have they given up?"

Kibitoshin: "No, this is it! They've been pushed to the edge!"

There is silence for five more seconds.

Ed, Edd n' Eddy: "HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The moon beneath them exploded completely, and this time, it was gone for good. Though mostly bald, great tendrils of yellow hair sprouted from their heads, while their eyes burned solid turquoise. The Ed's had done it…

Edd: "Payne, we swear you'll pay for every soul you've claimed…" 


	8. A Last Ditch Effort

The next day, everything, and everyone that Payne rid the Earth from, had reappeared. Payne hadn't noticed; because he was crossing the Great Plains, looking for the strongest power source he had felt since the day before, were he lightly felt the presence of a formidable power on some other world flash for a few minutes in his power sense. However, he wasn't focused on aliens, he was interested in a much smaller, but closer power level pulsing somewhere ahead. The power turned out to be three people. One was a small elderly man, floating in a meditative position. Another was a calm looking muscle-bound man. The other was a 21-year-old woman with blond hair. All of them were raising their power levels as high as possible. The elderly man was called Psyche. The muscle-bound man's name was Pecs. Moreover, the Blond girl was Magnum.

Pecs: "Master Psyche, are you sure this will work?"

Psyche: "The warrior can sense our energy. I feel him coming now. Do not take for granted that we were the strongest fighters until this being rose. We should be the greatest power, and the greatest threat that he has seen outside himself. He will come to eliminate us, and in this unoccupied environment, we can fight without worrying for safety of other citizens."

Magnum: "You need to respect sensei's judgment Pecs, he has never steered us wrong."

There was a small figure on the horizon.

Pecs: "Is this the warrior master?"

Psyche: "Yes, he is stronger than I have imagined."

Magnum: "But master, his power is miniscule, nothing at all."

Psyche: "Do not be deceived, for I have the power of inner sight. He is hiding his power well. Do not let your guard down at any moment."

Max Payne arrived at blinding speed and stopped 20 feet in front of them. He looked down at the ground. Then he pointed at them, and laughed maniacally.

Psyche: "Wait for him to make the first move."

Pecs: "But master, if what you're saying about him is true, he could wipe us all out before we had a chance."

Psyche: "Do not question me apprentice!"

Pecs: "We need to take him out NOW!"

Magnum: "WAIT!"

Pecs charged at Max, but as he swung his fist at him, Payne had vanished and left an after image. He reappeared next to him, and Pec's hurled a volley of punches at him, but Payne easily dodged every one. Payne grabbed Pecs's arm after another punch, and twisted it. Pecs hollered with agony. Then Max chambered his leg, and side-kicked Pec's three times, and then released him. He charged an energy beam and launched it. Pecs helplessly rode the beam until it hit the ground and dissipated. He lay, barely conscious on the cold earth. Psyche floated down to him.

Pecs: "Master Psyche, I'm regretful of my haste, please forgive me."

Psyche: "No more talk, just recover strength."

Pecs: "Yes master."

Psyche flew back to the fighting area. He seems deeply annoyed.

Psyche: "Now you know his strength. Outsmart him."

Magnum: "Yes sensei!"

Magnum flew her hands forward, and eight crystal shaped balls of energy surrounded them all. She created another one in front of her.

Magnum: "SPECTRUM BEAM!"

She launched a small ray of energy into the energy crystal in front of her. The ray passes through the crystal, straight towards Payne. Payne dodged it, and the beam kept going. Then one of the border crystals passed in front of the beam, and deflected it back at Payne, but this time the beam had split into two beams just as powerful as the first. Payne, who had never seen an attack like this, muttered a "HUH?" before one of the beams hit him in the face. The second beam continued to copy itself every time Max Payne dodged it. Every once in a while, Payne would take a hit. Eventually, there were so many beams in the air that every time he dodged one, he ran into the path of another. Soon, all that could be seen was a massively intense glow. Then, Magnum put down her hands, and all of the beams dispersed. All that was left was a dark cloud of dust.

Magnum: "Hah. He was no match for the Spectrum Beam. Let's see if what's left merits an open casket."

Pecs: "(Cough) Heh heh, way to go."

Psyche had a focused, concerned look on his face.

Magnum: "Master, he is, dead right?"

Psyche: "As educated as I am in Inner Sight, this is the first time I have felt a perplexity. There is no presence of one living being, but there are two. However, the being that we have fought is alone. Therefore, this cannot make sense. Besides this, I cannot determine if the warrior is alive or not. For all beings alive and dead still shine with an aura of life, even if it is very weak."

Then, Payne's silhouette was carved through the smoke. His eyes quickly shined an evil red, and from his eyes spawned two laser-like rays. Magnum made a large gasp, and fell to the ground.

Max Payne: "You gave me a bad itch."

Pecs: "MAGNUM!"

Psyche darted for the ground, and floated next to Magnum, who was still alive but barely breathing.

Psyche: "Magnum san, you must stay focused. Relax your body and tighten your mind…"

Psyche held his hands over the wound, and rays of light recreated the charred skin, leaving a scar.

Psyche: "You and Pecs must find safe place to heal. I must do my part to restore peace to this Earth."

Psyche floated back to his battle position. This time Payne pointed his finger and begins to fire countless energy beams. Psyche, still in his meditative position, dodged each one with vanishing speed. He reappeared above Max, and his eyes glowed blue. Then, a gigantic piece of rock lifted, and broke itself from the ground, lifted above Psyche. Psyche put his hands upward, and broke it into a few hundred pieces of 5x5 foot rock. He sent the stones hurling like cannon balls at Payne. Max Didn't move. The balls hit him perfectly. A rocky explosion sent shrapnel hurtling in all directions. Then Max appeared seemingly unhurt behind Psyche.

Max Payne: "Nothing I know will break my bones, but stones will never hurt me. Heh, heh heh."

Psyche darted to a safer place. When he was outside 30 feet from him, he turned around. Psyche sent a torrent of energy beams from his hands. Payne formed a large shield of energy around him. The beams exploded on top of the shield, but no damage was done to Payne. Payne stopped making the shield, and instead put one hand in the air. He charged a red energy ball, which grew to the size of a truck. He laughed through a closed mouth.

Max Payne: "I'll crush you like a cockroach in the night!"

He launched the ball forward, and at surprising speed. It almost met its mark when there was a whooshing, and shattering like noise. The ball that Payne had sent was destroyed. Payne, and the other three warriors, looked stunned as they searched the horizon for the disturbance. Then, they all saw three figures floating about a half mile away. 


	9. Eddy Is First

Max Payne: "Oh good, someone else I get to kill."

Pecs: "Who are these guys?"

Magnum: "Can't tell, but let's hope they're on our side."

The three figures moved astoundingly speedily to the battle site. Now that they are much closer, the three turn out to be the Ed's, ready to take on the battle hardened Max Payne.

Edd: "You three need to find a safe place as far from here as you can. We don't want to risk your safety."

Eddy: "Yeah, we don't want to blow you up if we can help it."

Psyche: "My inner sight shows that your power is quite formidable to his, so I will respect your concern. Pecs san, Magnum san! We must leave this fight to them."

Psyche and the others fly away from the area. The Eds stare at Payne, who returns the favor.

Ed: "This reminds me of the standoff on the robot planet, when the fearless space outlaws made a final ditch effort to destroy the tyrannical machines!"

Eddy: "How does that turn out?"

Ed: "The space outlaws were torn to pieces, but the general's head hit the on/off switch for the robots' main power plant, thus destroying the zombie-like automatons."

Edd: "Comforting. I presume I won't find any sleep tonight."

Eddy: "Man, for a psycho super-dude, this guy's sure patient."

Max Payne: "Three more people like me who want to fight. Three more people I will destroy. Who will be first to die?"

Eddy: "Let me have a piece of this guy. How bout' we see what your made of destruction dude!"

Max Payne: "When will realize that I am indestructible?"

Eddy: "When pigs leave winged shadows on my rooftop moron."

Max Payne ran at Eddy. Eddy moved behind him, and stood still. Max turned around, and looked at Eddy who was less than a foot in front of him, and saw that he was charging a large yellow energy beam. Before Max had time to react, he launched the beam, which became as wide as big city street.

Eddy: "UUUULLLLLLLLNNNNNNNNGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

On Kibitoshin's planet, he and the elder were looking at the fight through a viewing ball.

Supreme Kai: "Do you think that could have done it?"

Old Kai: "Use your brain! Think about it, this is not as bad as you give it all credit for. Unlike Majin Buu, Max Payne cannot regenerate. We can feel his power at all times. So just try sensing his energy, and then well know. It's not neo-physics."

Out of the dust, a frustrated Max Payne appeared in a defensive stance. He had a few burn marks, and scratches.

Eddy: "Man, what a diehard!"

Max Payne: "You will pay dearly for that."

Eddy: "Not one red cent!"

Edd: "Eddy, he means he wants to get back at you."

Max Payne fired a volley of small energy rays from his index finger. Eddy stopped them all with his hands. After the last beam, Max flew behind Eddy, but just when Max gave Eddy the full nelson, he elbowed him in the gut. Max was bent over clutching the spot that Eddy had hit him. Eddy used this time to lift his leg, and turned around 360 degrees and kicked him straight in the chest. Max flew uncontrollably into the ground, forming a small chasm were he hit. Eddy flew up to Ed and Double D's level.

Eddy: "Hey Double D, let's see what you can do, this guys a push over."

Edd: "No problem Eddy, feeling tired?"

Eddy: "Nah, just felt like giving you guys a few kicks before we finish him off." 


	10. Trump Card

Back with the Kai's.

Kibitoshin: "This is astounding! Only one of them has fought him for less than 2 minutes, and Max Payne hasn't landed an attack yet! I think we may have won this."

Old Kai: "I hate to be the naysayer, but there's every chance that Max's full power is still in storage. So far, he hasn't given much, if any effort to accomplish what he has done so far. He merely figured that those three were just another bunch of people like the last he faced. Now that he realizes what he's up against, I'm sure that he'll pull out all of the stops."

Supreme Kai: "Let's hope that Payne doesn't have much more energy in reserve. I'd hate to know what would happen if they all had to use their full power on such a heavily populated planet."

Old Kai: "We can only hope for the best."

Edd: "Okay, I know you're in there. Come up, or I'll, um, I'll… What will I do?"

Eddy: "Blow him to smithereens sock-head! C'mon, can't find a good threat?"

Edd: "You heard him! Get out of there…unless you're scared!"

Then, a tremor began to form where the chasm was. The rock shattered, and Max Payne emerged with a large energy aura around him. He had gone to full power.

Edd: "Well, it would seem that you have gained a little in power, so I'll have to do the same. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Edd raised his power to become a bit stronger than Payne was, but with little effort. Edd and Max flew at each other, but instead of throwing small fast punches, they were throwing large, slow punches that were so powerful, that they caused fist-sized rocks on the ground to roll with each impact. Every once in a while, they would land a good punch to the gut. Then, Edd gave him an uppercut, and in Max's neutral state, he kicked him straight into a large hill. Payne caught himself halfway through the side of the hill, and burst through the hilltop, flinging rock everywhere. Max formed a large energy ball, and fired it. Double D got out of its way, but as soon as he did, it had turned around and flew straight towards him. Max Payne's guided energy ball followed Double D like a younger brother, never slowing down. Then, Edd finally got enough distance between him and the ball, and kicked it straight at Payne. Payne tried to gain it back in his control, but it was too late, and it exploded. Max crawled up off the ground were he had landed. He seemed angry. Edd floated over to Ed, and Eddy.

Eddy: "Nice going Double D. How bout' we finish him off as a team."

Edd: "As in, all three of us together?"

Eddy: "Nope, just you n' Ed. I've done enough."

Ed: "Let's charge it to my credit card Double D!"

Eddy: "You have a credit card!"

Edd: "I think he means to charge the final beam Eddy."

Max Payne: "Imbeciles, you cannot beat me now!"

Max Payne was charging an energy ball large enough to destroy Earth.

Back on the sacred planet.

Supreme Kai: "NO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN! VICTORY WAS SECURE!"

Old Kai: "THOSE IDIOTS! I KNEW THEY WOULD DO THIS! THEY GOT SO COCKY ABOUT THEIR ABILITIES THAT THEY GAVE HIM THE TIME TO PREVAIL! Only a miracle can help us now!" 


	11. Yin and Yang

Max Payne: "Hasta luego! Huh?"

Max Payne went to throw the bomb, but his own arms seemed to be revolting his orders. The Ed's couldn't tell what was happening. Back where Psyche and the others were flying, Psyche stopped, and looked toward the horizon, in the direction they had come. Pecs and Magnum stopped and looked confusedly at him.

Magnum: "Master Psyche, what is it?"

Psyche: "… I cannot be sure. Something about that warrior we fought disturbs me."

Pecs: "If it's his power, I think we've already settled that."

Psyche: "No… It is not his power that worries me. Every once in a while, I have felt the presence of two warriors within the one, as if… as if two people were trapped within the one body. Two souls, but only one flesh shell. I have felt the two more than ever now, as if they were trying to fight for control, but now… it is as if the souls wanted to escape."

Magnum: "How can there be two souls in one body? Has one possessed the body?"

Psyche: "In all my training and learning of the power of souls, I have known that the soul consists of three parts: the id, the ego, and the superego. The id consists of ambition, impulse, and evil. The superego contains good intentions, wishes for peace, things that should be done to make life better for everyone. The ego is the balance of the two, linking them together, bringing the other parts of the soul down to Earth, and realization. I have heard of rare tales in my learning of people who were born without an ego, meaning that the once whole soul has been divided: id, and superego. Evil and good. One part of the soul remains in full control and the other lies dormant. Nevertheless, if emotion was built highly enough into one portion of the soul, the dormant side would awaken, completely in control. The warrior's control is strong in the id side, but the superego is still awake. The superego is trying to stop its evil counterpart."

Back at the fight, Max Payne was still fighting with himself. Now, a second voice had begun speaking. A voice with less menace and more determination. The Eds were standing, dumbstruck staring at the confusing moment.

Max Payne: "I-MUST-WIN!"

New Voice: "I WONT LET YOU DO IT!"

Max Payne: "YOU GREAT FOOL!

Max Payne and New Voice in synchronous: "RELEASE ME!"

ZAP

A large energy aura shrouded Max Payne in light, so only his silhouette could be seen. Suddenly the light enhanced, and Max Payne split into two right down the middle. The two parts drifted away, and then a new body half formed for both of the halves, thus forming two Max Payne's. The Eds stared both confused and terrified. The light vanished, and both Payne's turned to face each other. The Payne on the left looked at the other in an angry frustrated expression. The Payne on the right marveled at himself, with an evil smile. The Payne on the right spoke.

Max: "Finally, after all these years, I am free. Free of you and your' pathetic ideals of good and evil. Now my TRUE power is unleashed, and the weakness that prevented it has been cleansed from my now perfect self. All though I know you have been there, forgive me, but I don't believe we've been properly introduced. As you know, I am Max Payne. You can call me Max though, but get to using it because you won't have time to wear the name out."

Other Payne: "I call myself Jacob, Jake for short. I am the good and the just. But you can call me by my alias, J-Dude. You three!"

J-Dude looked over at the Ed's, who were still confused.

J-Dude: "Stay on your guard; he's much more powerful than he was when you fought him. I was able to keep his power down as much as I could, but now… His strength is almost limitless."

Max: "And why is that I wonder? You are weaker because you are all about peace, and good. But I get my strength the way the true saiyans before us did. It's not as if we didn't know of our lineage. The warriors Goku and Vegeta are our ancestors, somewhere along the family tree two descendants of the warriors committed. We all heard the stories of the people with extraordinary strength and ability, but we all considered it myth. Now I see that I am here to continue what Vegeta began before he was corrupted, made a GOOD person by that idiot Goku! Before Goku came, Vegeta was an unstoppable force of anger and power. Heartless, with no pity for his victims who dared cross his path! The true power of the saiyans, the super saiyan levels were attained by anger, frustration, hatred! That's how saiyans unleashed their power. Goku didn't use peace to win; he used the weapon of the enemy! Anger, strong enough to summon the power he needed to win. You see, evil was always meant to win in the end. Good was only able to prolong the inevitable. Evil will one day ring out as supreme, and that day is near!"

J-Dude: "You're wrong! No matter how much more powerful the enemy, good has punched through the darkness. I believe that there is strength, an entity beyond the Supreme Kai, beyond anyone known. It works mysteriously. Good would have been defeated long ago if it hadn't set the entire Universe to hail in the realm of good. This was all preordained by it, AND I KNOW IT MEANT FOR YOU TO LOSE!"

Max: "Hold your insolent tongue! Pity, that strength of any kind has been wasted on such pathetic hacks such as yourselves. Oh, and I've discovered something you've kept hidden from me. A new form of super saiyan? Ahh yes! I've heard of this, the form of Ascended Super Saiyan. This should be interesting. Don't tell me you don't know it because you do. Let's try it shall we? HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Max and J-Dude both bellowed with enthusiasm. They continued until their hair became much spikier, focused mainly upward, and their energy became extreme. The Ed's raised their power levels in the meantime, ready for Max to strike. 


	12. Special Techniques

In the interim on the sacred planet, the two Kai's were going frantic.

Supreme Kai: "What an unprecedented turn of events! Now once again, the second super saiyan transformation has been unleashed!"

Old Kai: "Yes…but also quite interesting is this partition between Payne's light and dark sides. Now we have another powerful ally, and an upgraded, apparently smarter, quicker and more powerful form than the last one."

Supreme Kai: "I only hope that this J-Dude person can give us the advantage."

Old Kai: "Well let's look at it this way. The evil one has indeed made a dramatic increase in power, but the three we have trained have not even begun to fight seriously yet. They were just toying with him last time. And to add to that, we have an ally that knows the enemy as well as he knows himself. I'm not saying victory is guaranteed, but there is a pretty darn good chance."

Back at the fight, Max, J-Dude and the Ed's, are ready to begin.

Max: "You know, I'm a sporting kind of guy. Therefore, I am going to give you all the first attack. Let's start with the big guy. I haven't seen you do much. Bring out your best."

Ed: "Slicer, hold the onions! Samurai Attack!"

Ed held out his hands, and formed a sword made entirely of energy in his hands. Ed pointed the radiant blade toward Max, and out of the tip came a beam of energy. Max, who had not expected such a distinctive assault, barely moved out of its line of attack. Then, Ed directed the blade up to the sky, and caused the sword to increase to an astounding length, of almost 300 yards. Ed began to swing the blade in Max's direction, only missing by a few inches. Another swing sliced off a lock of Max's hair. On the next swing, Max caught the sword with his hands, which were given large wounds from the razor-sharp blade. Max then pulled the blade forcefully out of Ed's hands, and flung it like a throwing knife at Ed. The weapon hit a place in the ground, missing Ed's head by a hair, and quivered before dissipating. Max stood, somewhat impressed.

Max: "Hmm? Interesting technique, your own design? I must say, I didn't predict that your blade would be capable of this kind of damage."

Max held up his profusely bleeding hand.

Max Payne: "How about you mega-chin. What can you do?"

Edd: "I'm actually rather talented in creating my own techniques. Try this on for size! QUADRILATA-RAY!"

Edd shaped his hands like guns, and connected his index fingers with his thumbs, forming a rectangular shape. In this shape formed an energy beam of the same shape, but the size of the beam was that of a semi truck. Max put his hands up to hold the ray back, but it was proving difficult. Eventually, the ray went around his hands, and engulfed him. He yelled loudly. A huge explosion cracked the ground around him.

Ed: "Good job Double D!"

Eddy: "I thought you said that move was defective."

Edd: "Well, I didn't want to shatter your overwhelming self regard Eddy."

J-Dude: "Will you stop it already! He's not one to be killed with an attack like that."

Eddy blurted out rudely.

Eddy: "How do you know?"

J-Dude: "You don't understand! I was once sharing the same body and mind as him! I know how he thinks, and I know his capabilities. When we were one, I tried to hide his true power from him. It worked, but now he can fully access it. You can't go easy on him, he must be destroyed!"

Max: "Only wishful thinking Jacob. I am now the ultimate power in the Universe! Nothing compares with my power! And all who stand in my way, MUST DIE!"

Max had arisen once again from the dirt.

Max: "What about you brother? Don't you have a special ability to entertain me with?"

J-Dude: "I've had enough of your games! It's time to fight seriously! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

J-Dude raised his power as far as he could, but it seemed that he was holding a little power back. He lunged at Max, and when they came face to face, both of them tried to hit each other, but their punch collided with each other. To the human eye, they would be fighting so fast that their arms and legs looked like four blurs, but really they were evenly punching and blocking each attack onto themselves. Finally Max got enough time in-between punches, and put his fists together and knocked J-Dude down. But J-Dude, so determined in his fighting, stopped in mid fall, and put both hands up.

J-Dude: "SKILLSAW MASSACRE!"

J-Dude released a 10-foot wide energy disk sharp enough to penetrate the earth. Max easily moved out of its way, but J-Dude moved his hands in a fashion that suggested he could control it. It came at Max again, and he flew from it. The disk followed, passing neatly through a large rock pillar, which fell down three seconds after the disk passed through. Max nosedived to try to feint the disk, and landed, front flipping away from the disks path. The disk did as he predicted and went straight through the ground. Max seemed triumphant for a few seconds, but then the disk sawed its way neatly through the ground, missing Max by an inch. Max dived onto the ground in a lying-down position, and fired a large beam at the disk; which was turning to get him again. The beam was split and dispersed as the disk passed through it. Max dodged again, and turned to watch for the disk to come back. But it dissipated, and Max stared confused.

Max: "What?"

J-Dude: "GOT YOU! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

J-Dude had fired a giant energy beam at Max. Max didn't have time to react. It hit him perfectly. J-Dude didn't wait for the dust to settle, he charged straight into the cloud, and found Max, who was barely getting up. He kicked him in the gut, and sent him outside the cloud, rolling to a stop on the hard Earth. He got up quickly, and J-Dude walked out of the dust cloud. 


	13. Super Saiyan 3!

Max: "It seems I've underestimated you…a little. I guess I should expect such style from someone with the exact same fighting experience as me. So perhaps I will fight more seriously… How about an attack you can't block!"

Max disappeared with a flash, and J-Dude looked around for where he went. Up in the clouds, Max reappeared, and flew as fast as could go like a missile, straight for J-Dude. J-Dude dived out of his way as Max flew through the air, and hit the Earth with an impact equal to a 12-point earthquake. Max got to his feet, and stood on the ground. Around them, ominous dark clouds gave a look of gloom to the scenery. Both J-Dude and Max stood their ground as they stared each other down. J-Dude had a fiery look in his turquoise super saiyan eyes. Suddenly the ground began to tremble. The entire Great Plains was quivering under the force of Max's dive-bomb. Soon lightning began to come from rainless clouds. Some parts of the ground cracked and fell, while other pieces of rock were forced upward. Max muttered a "Heh?" and then laughed through his teeth. J-Dude didn't react much to the ground; he never took his eyes off Max. Soon the ground was forced up so rapidly that gargantuan pieces of rock flew up to astounding heights, while other rock formations cracked and fell. Soon the entire terrain was unrecognizable, the grassy calm rolling hills and endless fields quickly turned into deep chasms, and perilous jagged rock formations. Max and J-Dude both still staring at each other hardly reacted as they ascended on two stage like pieces of rock, as if forming two destined showdown pillars. Finally, the rocks came to a stop.

Back on the sacred planet, the supreme Kai looks ready to faint as he sees the massive damage already inflicted onto the earth.

Kibitoshin: "We've failed, Max Payne is going to win, and the Earth will fall into his darkness."

Old Kai: "Maybe, but then again maybe not."

Kibitoshin: "Wha'? Are you saying there's still a chance?"

Old Kai: "There's something familiar about the expression on J-Dude's face. If I remember correctly, this is exactly how Goku looked before he laid his cards on the table. He still has something up his sleeve, something we've missed. He is an astounding fighter from what we've seen; highly resourceful, and very clever. So yes, there still may be a chance."

Back at the fight, the Ed's were watching the fight from the sidelines, incredulous at the power both fighters had.

Edd: "This is very bad; if Payne could do this without much effort, imagine what he's fully capable of!"

Eddy: "Why can't we do that?"

Ed: "Because we don't come with batteries included Eddy."

J-Dude calculated the situation; he spoke aloud to no one but himself.

J-Dude: "Aurgh! Drat! He's taken each attack with almost no damage! He's got to have some weakness…"

Max laughs loudly.

J-Dude: (exhales loudly)

J-Dude stands with his head facing the ground. In the setting, lightning bolts the width of armchairs hissed, and cracked.

Max: "Hmm."

Old Kai: "This is it! He's ready to lay it all down!"

J-Dude: "YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

J-Dude bellowed hard enough to hurt someone's vocal cords. The pillar of rock exploded from beneath him, and he slowly landed on what was left. His energy aura pulsed loudly and glowed five times brighter than before; his hair has lengthened to nearly his waist. Eyebrows had vanished, and his golden hair spiked even more wildly; J-Dude had turned Super-Saiyan 3…

Max: "Heh! So, you're ready to be serious now are you?"

J-Dude: "Max Payne, your end is near!"

Max: (Laughs through his teeth)

Once again, the Supreme Kai's planet, yada, yada, yada…

Kibitoshin: "I don't believe it! That, that's'… Super Saiyan 3! How could he have attained such power in so little time!"

Old Kai: "Well to begin, I believe that saiyans accomplish such transformations out of raw emotion, not power. Most people think that they have to reach a certain power level to make the adjustment, but a Saiyan at any level can become a Super Saiyan just out of anger and frustration. I imagine that when Max first became super, the side of J-Dude suppressed the true form of Max; meaning he accomplished all three levels at once. For some strange reason, J-Dude is the only one here that can make it to the third level."

Kibitoshin: "You mean that Max can't do super saiyan 3!"

Old Kai: "He's fully able to acquire it; he just hasn't reached his breaking point. Whatever provoked them to transform when they were one, affected J-Dude's side more critically than Max's."

Kibitoshin: "Not to sound disrespectful ancestor, but where do you come up with these theories?"

Old Kai: "I can't pretend that I am an authority on these strange behemoths of power, but I've been around the block quite a few times." 


	14. The Eds Have Failed

Back to the battle.

J-Dude: "Please leave now, get far away from here!"

The Ed's looked dumbstruck.

Edd: "We can't leave at such a grave time for Earth; the four of us are the only hope!"

J-Dude: "Correction! I'm the only hope left. Don't you get it? I had to go Super-Saiyan-three just to compare to his strength; if you stay here, I won't be able to fight without worrying for your safety! You had your chance, but you should have destroyed us when you had the opportunity. Now thanks to your pride, the Universe may very well be doomed!"

Eddy: "Hey, don't pin this on us!"

J-Dude raised his power and yelled loudly.

J-Dude: "YOU'VE CAUSED ENOUGH DAMAGE! GET AWAY FROM HERE NOW! HaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHH!"

J-Dude launched a wide, but weak energy beam at the Ed's. They were hit, but they rode on the beam until they were unseen on the horizon, where they landed several miles away.

Max: "Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh! Good show of consideration my feeble friend, good show." (claps mockingly) "I suppose you're ready to learn your lesson. Just because you have achieved the next level doesn't mean you are as strong as I am. But I have been waiting for something near a challenge, so shall we begin, or are you still going to act like some kind of hero and bore me with some meaningful speech?"

J-Dude: "I do, and it's just like a five paragraph essay; it has three parts."

J-Dude fires an energy beam past Max, who looks after it incase it is guided.

J-Dude: "INTRODUCTION-!"

J-Dude hits him wildly with punches.

J-Dude: "BODY-!"

In his surprised state, Max is on his back in midair. J-Dude grabs him by the arm, flung him around, and hurled him to the floor. J-Dude put both hands forward.

J-Dude: "AND CONCLUSION-! DEMOLITION-ASSAULT!"

J-Dude fired a bright orange bomb at Max. Max leaps up off the ground and fires a beam. The beam passes through the ball, and continues straight at J-Dude. J-Dude holds the beam back, and flings it over his head. Max rushes at J-Dude, and socks him in the stomach, and grabs his head. He brings his knee up and collided it with J-Dude's head. J-Dude falls to the ground.

Max: "Honestly, did you think that you could beat me? You're nothing, a mere waste of energy. The idea that I once shared flesh with you makes me feel as though I've been contaminated, infected with some contagious disease. Just being in your presence is enough to make me want to retch."

J-Dude got up, ready to begin.

Max: "Really, I'd think by now you would just let me end your misery. You consider this bravery, but to me it's just obstinacy. You refuse to admit you've met your end, but if you'd like we could do it your way if it makes you sleep the eternal sleep more satisfyingly."

J-Dude: "You won't win, because as long as I draw breath, you won't defile this Universe."

Max: "Very true. Then I suppose I will have to end your breathing…" 


	15. Tri Fusion

The Ed's landed with minimal force several miles away from the battle.

Eddy: "Just wait till I get him for that! I'll rip that guy a new-!"

Ed: "Bottom floor!"

Ed who was under Eddy stood up sharply, making Eddy fall on his face.

Edd: "I suppose this was for the best."

Eddy: "What're you talkin' bout Edd?"

Edd: "He was right Eddy. If we acted seriously enough, we could have destroyed him before they split. Now we're not even powerful enough to stand a chance. Why we would have to exponentially increase our power… THAT'S IT! I KNOW HOW WE CAN WIN EDDY!"

Eddy: "I'm desperate enough to believe ya'."

Edd: "WE COULD USE THE TRI-FUSION TECHNIQUE!"

Eddy: "News flash Double D! We stunk on ice when we tried to learn that! If we screw it up we'll have to wait an hour and a half to try again!"

Edd: "I know, I remember the training…"

Edd had a flashback.

Old Kai: "Many years ago after the defeat of Majin Buu, I investigated the astounding fusion technique; which when done correctly will combine the fighters into one person, and multiply their strength. Now even though you have learned the technique of super saiyan, if things go awry you'll have this to rely on. Now observe carefully. FUUUUUUUUUUSION-TRI!"

Old Kai performed a rather ridiculous dance.

Old Kai: "Remember, this technique only works if your power levels are matched at the exact same level. That means tone it down a bit lurch. Now you try."

Eddy: "I hope no one gets a Kodak of this!"

They repeat what Old Kai did. There was a flash, and the Eds were now one fat combination of themselves.

Old Kai: "Well? What's your name?"

Amalgam: "My name is Eddie, with an "I-E"."

Eddie's voice was none other than all three of the Ed's voices at the same time.

Old Kai: "Well, let's see what you've got."

Eddie: "Okay."

Eddie tried picking up a small rock, but strained trying to get it a foot from the ground.

Supreme Kai: "I thought he was supposed to become stronger."

Old Kai: "He is, he just did it wrong. Great, we have to waste another hour and a half."

In an hour and thirty minutes they tried again. This time Eddie was a scrawny old man, next he was a baby. Then he had one body but three heads, all being one of the Ed's. The heads looked at each other and screamed in terror.

Old Kai: "Enough of this! You guys will never get it right in time. I'll give Dende the order to use the first wish. Brace yourselves."

Supreme Kai: "Good luck!"

The halos on the Ed's heads vanished, and they were instantly transported to Earth…

The flashback ended, and the Ed's stood, while in the meantime J-Dude's energy is gradually diminishing.

Edd: "Don't you feel him weakening Eddy! We have to do something! We have to at least try the fusion!"

Eddy: "Fine, but if we turn into some kind of one eyed freak, you're gonna get this up the shnozzolla!"

Eddy grabbed Edd by the arm and motioned with his fist. Edd smiled in appreciation.

Edd: "Thank you Eddy!"

The Ed's try the fusion dance one last time.

Ed's: "FUUUUUUUUUUSION-TRI!"

A large multicolored aura formed around them. The aura quickly turned into a gigantic dome, and when it subsided, a middle sized muscle-bound figure emerged through the light… 


	16. Eddie

J-Dude was being put through the wringer. He was just standing still, looking helpless as Max continued to punch him. Then, Max lifted up one of his elbows, and brought it down upon J-Dude's skull. J-Dude rocketed to the Earth, landing hardly. He tried to get up, but he just seemed to be doing failed pushups. Max put his foot on his back, and pinned him ferociously to the floor with it. J-Dude's Super Saiyan hair returned to its dark blond state.

Max: "So how would you like it? A slow painful death as I puncture your heart? Or a quick blast to the head, so it can end quickly? I hear it's painless, but I wouldn't know now would I? Send me the answer in a postcard after you get to otherworld wont you?

J-Dude just groaned as he tries to get up.

Max: "Tick-tock, tick-tock. Your time is out brother! What is your last request? No answer? Then I suppose I'LL MAKE THE DECISION FOR YOU!"

Max holds his hand towards J-Dude's back, and charges a beam.

J-Dude: "Earth, I'm sorry… I've failed you…"

A figure flew towards Max in a blur, and knocked him straight through 300 yards of rock formations, which collapsed and shattered as he pummeled through them. The figure stood on the ground, and revealed his super saiyan 2 face. It was none other than Eddie, pumped up and ready to pummel his enemy into dust. J-Dude looks up.

J-Dude: "Who are you!"

Eddie: "Eddie, with an "I-E". I'm the fused form of Ed, Edd and Eddy. Let me help you out."

Eddie pointed his open hand at J-Dude, and a flash surrounded J-Dude, who afterwards, got up with ease.

Eddie: "I've given you enough power to allow you to regain the rest of your energy."

J-Dude: "So you three are now in one body?"

Eddie: "Yes, but only for 30 minutes, so our window of opportunity is somewhat slim. We need to fight him together. Here he comes!"

Indeed, Max was standing upon a rock pillar. He looked down angrily upon them.

Max: "Do my ears deceive me, or did you just say that you are some kind of combo of those three pests? Well don't think just because you can catch me off-guard doesn't mean you're any stronger than I."

Eddie: "SHUT UP! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR POMPOUS ATTITUDE! IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

Eddie flew at Max, and they engaged in an equal round of punches and kicks. J-Dude joined in, though his power still limited. Eddie and Max shared a large punch, and both of them backed up from each other. Max made a huge punch, which Eddie ducked, and kicked Max in the back sending him five feet before he stopped himself. He made a flying kick at J-Dude, who dodged it, but then Max grabbed J-Dude's neck, and forcefully pushed him headfirst into the ground. Eddie came up and punched Max in the gut. Both of them flew in the same direction, inverted to face each other. Both of them charged energy beams looking at the other with hatred. They fired the beams, which hit in midair and did nothing more than force their recipients back. Both regained their bearings and went into a hyperactive fist fight.

Kibitoshin and the Elder Kai were watching with anticipating expressions.

Old Kai: "It looks like it's my turn to be the one in disbelief. How did those three get the fusion down after so many tries, and failures?"

Kibitoshin: "You'd be surprised what some people can do when they need to. They knew what was at stake and made certain to try their best one last time. If there's anything that can turn the tides of war its determination."

Old Kai: "Or sheer dumb luck."

Kibitoshin fell over after hearing this, as if he had been struck by a wreaking ball. 


	17. No More Games!

Eddie and Max had become the focal point of the battle, J-Dude being often batted away by Max who saw his interference as an annoying distraction from what was obviously a true challenge. Eddie had taken the lead, if only by a hair, and Max knew it. J-Dude of course was not quite recovered yet, at least not enough to ascend back to Super Saiyan 3, which had undeniably been a large factor of his fatigue in the last bout. In between punches, Eddie had sent an invisible shockwave at Max's face that sent him spinning backwards, only just catching himself with one hand and back on his feet on the floor. He felt his cheek with his finger to find a sizeable bruise which was slightly bleeding. A bit of blood on his finger, he rubbed it with his thumb and dried the blood into a rust-colored powder and raised an eyebrow at Eddie who had just landed next to J-Dude.

Eddie: "Ha! That one hurt, didn't it?"

Max: "Don't flatter yourself, freak. All this synthesis has done is made you three times as cocky as you were the first time you fought me. You underestimated me then and you do so now as well. In case you've failed to notice it has brought you nothing but pain. Had you destroyed me before we separated, Earth would already be saved."

Eddie: "In that case, I won't make the same mistake again! No more games! How about I finish this now! You J-Dude! Follow my lead!"

J-Dude: "One second…HUUUUUUUUUUUURLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

J-Dude powered up to Super Saiyan 3 Status again and waited for Eddie. Both of them ran at Payne, J-Dude behind him. Eddie jumped over Max's head to the other side and both side-kicked him in the chest and back. Max's eyes went open and he exhaled while shooting out saliva. Both of them grabbed onto his arms, flipped him once and hurled him into the air. They then combined into a four-handed energy beam and sent a rocketing energy shell at Max, which exploded on contact. Max dropped like a fly, dazed for a moment, before grabbing the ground with his hand and righting himself, continuing his momentum. Max did back flips into an enclosed rock cove. He stood on his feet and put his hands up high, looking at both of his adversaries with an evil smile.

Max: "Hah heh heh heh heh!"

Max formed a baseball sized ball of energy in his palms. Then, the ball grew to the size of a huge beach ball.

Eddie: "What's he up to now?"

J-Dude: "I dunno, but I'm not gonna wait around to find out!"

The two of them fired small balls of energy at Max's large one. When they hit, they disappeared inside the ball. Suddenly, the ball grew three times in size.

J-Dude: "Great, that ball must absorb whatever energy it connects with!"

Max launched the ball. It moved slowly, but J-Dude and Eddie went to push it away, but as soon as they touched it, they were sucked into the ball. Max looked at his foes triumphantly. Very quickly, the energy of the trapped warriors was depleting. Suddenly, Max looked confused as his ball flew towards him uncontrollably. He too was sucked into his own ball as he tried to flee from it. They all tried to fight the ball for a minute before Max released the ball. The ball dispersed, and the three warriors collapsed in a heap on the ground. Eddie could barely get up. 


	18. The Sky

Eddie: "Am I alive?"

J-Dude: "Yeah."

Eddie: "You know, you look at the sky like this and it makes you feel like there's a hope for any situation. Right now I can't see one."

J-Dude's eyes suddenly lit up.

J-Dude: "I've got an idea!"

But before he could state his idea, Max who was barely able to walk, came up and kicked Eddie in the head, knocking him out cold.

J-Dude: "Don't you have ethics! He was already on the floor!"

Max: "So what? So you have an idea huh?"

J-Dude: "Yeah, one that will wipe you out! Dende, I know you can hear me! I sort of understand about the dragon balls, and the Supreme Kai. When Eddie gave me some energy, I could read his mind, that's how I know. I know what to do with the last wish!"

Max: "I've heard of these Dragonballs."

Max looked at him, egging him on.

Max: "So, you're going to let a wish save your hide, just like Goku? They never could have won those battles if they hadn't let magic be their crutch, a handicap for the weak. You're going to wish for your power to return and I'll be a mere memory. What a way to fight, coward."

The Eldest Kai shouted on the sacred planet.

Old Kai: "Don't you listen to him you pride-ruled idiot!"

J-Dude: "Dende, listen carefully! I want Shenron to bring Eddie's, Max's, and my power to an equal."

They all suddenly felt energy coursing through their bodies.

J-Dude: "The sky…"

J-Dude whispered to himself.

Max: "Astoundingly decent of you, and just as foolish!"

Max and J-Dude hurled themselves at each other. J-Dude kept heading upward, getting Max to follow. Whenever J-Dude attacked, he made sure he sent Max high. Finally, they were so high that breathing was taxing on their lungs. Up above them, the layer of the atmosphere that separated air from space was flowing. The air moving like waves in an ocean. Max and J-Dude were still able and ready to fight; But Max had the definite advantage in power. 


	19. Ancestral Powers

Max: "Very impressive. You have fought well, although you are still no match for me."

J-Dude: "Well then, if I can't beat you myself, then maybe space will! It just might be cold enough to withstand your freezing heart!"

J-Dude darted downward, and flew straight up again at Max. Max simply dodged, and kicked him straight towards the void of space. J-Dude stopped, and looked back at Max, horrified.

Max: "Oh don't look so surprised. We great minds think alike brother. As soon as we headed for the clouds, I could tell what you were trying to do. Clever though. You would have made sure I suffocated, even if you had to hold me in the dead air until you also perished. How noble. But now you have been ensnared by your own trap."

J-Dude: "(Pease let this work.) KAME-HA-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

J-Dude put his hands together and brought them to his side.

Max: "Hello? Are you trying Goku's relic technique, the fabled Kamehameha wave? Even if you could work that attack, you would have to get through me. But even if you did, what about Earth? Don't you want to save this planet; you should know that the wave could destroy Earth too."

He didn't answer.

Max: "Well, then I'll try one of Vegeta's old moves, it seems fitting doesn't it? IT'S TIME TO END THIS!"

Max put his hands together and brought them forward. J-Dude tried to create the energy needed for the attack, but couldn't find it. He searched desperately within him for the power his ancestor had used so many times so long ago…

J-Dude: "(Come on…I should be able to do it! Almost everyone who ever tried to learn this attack did it, why can't I? This is just great…he's going to win, and all our efforts, all the people of Earth, every last one of them will…!"

J-Dude began to shake angrily at his own inability, furious at himself. Everyone on Earth whose lives depended on the outcome of this battle would be ultimately let down. As J-Dude's eyes narrowed in rage, a bright blue light began to form in the palms of his hands, glowing soothingly with a steady pulsing sound. He looked at it with astonishment.

J-Dude: "(There! That's it!)

J-Dude disappeared, and reappeared below Max, who hadn't planned on this tricky new idea. Max turned to face J-Dude.

Max: "HUH? Well if that's how you want it, DIE WITH YOUR PRECIOUS PLANET! FINAL FLASH! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

J-Dude: "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Max unleashed a massive yellow wave of energy, while J-Dude launched a somewhat smaller blue beam. The two collided in midair, and the warriors struggled to get their beams to overtake the other. Max was once again, with the lead.

Max: "Hah, hah hah hah! You should have begged for your life, it would have been a more merciful death!"

J-Dude: "I… I can't overpower him! No matter how strong of an attack the Kamehameha is I just don't have the energy!"

Max: "So once again, the natural balance is restored! Evil triumphs over good!"

J-Dude: "I don't care if you're a million times stronger than me Max Payne, (strain) I won't give up, and somehow you'll lose!"

Max: "A fitting phrase to be carved on your gravestone! I'll make sure to remember it!"

Max pushed his beam to nearly swallow up J-Dude's wave... 


	20. Lending a Hand

Suddenly, a voice came up from the clouds beneath them.

Voice: "SAMURAI, ATTACK!"

Eddie burst through the cloud tops, with his energy sword in hand. He flew up, and thrusted his blade upon the arm of the shocked Max Payne. As soon as the arm floated aimlessly into the void of space, Eddie separated into the Ed's. They fell slowly through the clouds, looked up with triumphant smiles, and gave J-Dude the thumbs-up. Max, who was now shocked to see his stump of an arm, now couldn't focus enough power through his good hand. The Kamehameha wave began to easily overpower the Final Flash.

Max: "You…ARGH! YOU MEDDLESOME, STUPID, STUPID PESTS!"

J-Dude: "Thanks guys, this is our only chance!"

The energy beam was quickly advancing on Max as J-Dude's attack strengthened and focused.

Max: "NO! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! I AM ALL POWERFUL!"

J-Dude: "Wrong! This is the natural balance of the Universe! Under the supreme reign of peace, prosperity and all that is good! The nightmare ends here Payne! HURGH!"

J-Dude dug into all his reserve and channeled all of his energy at Max.

Max: "Ulllghnnn! I HATE YOU!"

J-Dude: "HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

The beam finally met Max's hand, which did little to stem its progress. The Kamehameha's awesome energy pushed onto Max with such force, that it passed over him while Payne was forced inside it. Hotter than magma, more terrible than lightning, Max's clothes began to burn off as well as his hair, his body now singeing and burning by an unseen flame.

Max: "THIS ISN'T OVER! URLGH! Evil…NEVER…DIES! RGHLAAAAAAAAAAARGH-!"

Max, his own durability failing him finally disintegrated, not leaving so much as an ash of his existence, leaving the Kamehameha Wave to travel out into space. An enormous explosion lit up the sky, and vanished. Max Payne had been defeated at last. J-Dude put his arms down, and let them hang limp at his side.

J-Dude: "I'm sorry. Your end was essential. May mercy be granted on you. Farewell."

J-Dude's hair turned to normal, and he lets himself fall slowly back to Earth. Eventually, he feels he is able to breathe more easily, as the air is becoming thicker as he descends. For hours, he continued to fall through the Earths heavenly sky. He began to think about Earth's newfound freedom, the freedom to live without doom looming over their lives. He felt great just freefalling in his tired state. Soon he saw the ground underneath him, and he flew to his feet to land. The Ed's were there awaiting his arrival. They were in festivity for the feat they had accomplished together. He landed, and walked over to the Ed's and began to talk about their victory.

Up on the Kai planet, the two watched from their viewing globe.

Old Kai: "Well, they certainly got the job done. Maybe making a slim victory is an ingenious bit of idiocy for Saiyans? It hasn't failed them yet has it?"

Kibitoshin: "These four I'm certain are going to have their own legacies. They truly are the sons of their ancestors." 


	21. Pennies From Heaven

So in the aftermath, plans were made. To avoid the use of their power for personal gain, they agreed to put their potential energy into four special orbs until they were needed to save the Earth once again. They knew that Max Payne was the beginning of a horde of new enemies. The ways of ki had once again been unleashed, marking the coming of new foes, as with Goku's bequest. As J-Dude had said, he knew that there was a higher force in the Universe than anyone could imagine, and that because of it, nothing was a true accident. Dende formed a new hyperbolic time chamber for them to train in once every year, so as not to be caught off-guard. In a year from that time, a wish was granted to rid the world of Payne's memory. And on that same day, a man that nobody had laid eyes on before had strolled into the New York police department. His name was Jake Myers.

And as for Ed, Edd n' Eddy…?

Eddy: "Welcome to Ed's Social Establishment! Entry is free, and the gambling's great!"

Kevin: "Choice! Wait a minute…is this a casino?"

Eddy: "No it's an establishment. No oblong' English, el jock'eh?"

Kevin: "Whatever Senior Dorko, I'm heading for the slots."

They were in Eddy's garage with gambling devices. Kevin pulled a lever on a slot machine after entering a quarter.

Kevin was the Eds's sworn enemy. With a backwards red cap and an agitated state of mind in their presence, Kevin never failed to refer to them as "dorks". Among them there was Sarah and Jimmy, as well as others. There was also a boy called Jonny with his wooden imaginary friend Plank, the teen blond Nazz, who never failed to be polite and was the crush of every male other than Rolf, who was a tall immigrant from an old-world country who had failed in most ways to assimilate to American culture.

Ed, adorned in a lavish suit that made him look like a bell-hop, blundered by with an assortment of drinks that looked as though they had come from a mud puddle. He rounded on an unsuspecting Jimmy and offered one of the liquid abominations.

Ed: "Something to ail what cures ya' Jimbo?"

Jimmy look at it revolted and began to turn green.

Jimmy: "It's enough to make Julia Child weep!"

Jimmy scurried away from Ed, tripping over a roll in the maroon carpet with a feeble "Owie!"

Edd: "I'll have you know Eddy that casino's aren't all profit. There is the chance of someone hitting the $10 high stakes prize..."

Eddy: "What are the odds of that Double D? Besides, you know what they say: the house, always wins…"

Eddy said in a confident way. Ed lumbered up at his comment.

Ed: "Nah silly! This is your garage."

Eddy: "It's Vegas lingo porcupine-head, get with it…

Suddenly, alarms sounded all over the casino in Eddy's garage.

Kevin: "Awesome, ten big ones!"

Nazz: "Yeah!"

Sarah: "I'm gonna buy me a new bike!"

Jimmy: "Another pair of loafers!"

Rolf: "Ho ho! Rolf shall be dining on eels tonight, yes? Does the ooze of good fortune not sit in Rolf's pores?"

Jonny: "Stay put Plank, you might be good luck!"

Plank was propped up against a chair.

Eddy: (panicky) "WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT DOUBLE D?"

Edd: "Um…higher than even our lack of luck could manifest I fear…"

Kevin: "Hey Dorky! We're cashing in."

Eddy: "Forget it we ain't paying! We're broke!"

Jonny: "You can't open a casino if you can't reimburse the winnings!"

Rolf: "Yes! What sort of bamboozletry do you mean by assembling this swindler's kiosk of artificial richitude?"

Edd seemed perturbed by Rolf's attempted utilization of English.

Edd: "'Richitude'? Really Rolf…'richitude'?"

Eddy: "It ain't a casino, it's a Social Establishment! If I had my strength back I'd show you all what's-four!"

Ed: "Yeah, make like library books and get lost!"

Edd seemed impressed by Ed's moment of cleverness.

Edd: "That was uncharacteristically witty Ed…"

Kevin then spoke with a sinisterly low tone.

Kevin: "Let's rip their faces off…"

The Ed's ran yelling out into the horizon of the Cul-de-sac followed by the vigilant kids.

Eddy: "Wait, I don't have insurance!"

Edd: "Help me!"

Ed: "I think your scam's expiring date's passed Eddy."

Eddy: "Shut it Ed…"

…let's just say that pennies from heaven haven't fallen yet…

To Be Continued...

...Coming Soon...

...Ed, Edd n' Eddy 2470 Episode II: Evil Never Dies...don't miss the next climactic entry to the six-part 2470 Saga!... 


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